Sensory Experiences: Past and Present
I love the magic of Christmas, even though I stopped believing in Santa Claus 56 years ago. I pretended to be asleep when my parents put 25 cents under my pillow after losing a tooth. Even at eight years old, I could put two and two together. At that moment, the magic evaporated. I understood that Santa Claus didn’t exist.
Yes, I am Jewish and I grew up believing in Santa Claus. My family had an artificial silver Christmas tree. My siblings and I decorated the tree with strings of popcorn and cranberries and hand painted ornaments.
I remember the night before Christmas, truly believing that Santa Claus knew if I were naughty or nice. My younger siblings and I would wake up at 4 a.m. on Christmas morning and run down stairs to the Christmas tree. We were so excited as we ripped open our gifts. “Mom, look what I got!”
Today I am 64 years old. Last night I saw Santa Claus on an old fashioned fire truck! I was so excited! My heart began to race and I felt a rush throughout my body. I phoned my husband from the car, “OMG, I just saw Santa Claus!”
I had a similar experience 10 years ago. My family was at a resort in Saugatuck, Michigan for a family reunion. That weekend, my Uncle Alan was also celebrating his 75th birthday. His family arranged for a marching band from Catholic Central High School, his alma mater. I happened to be outside when I heard a familiar tune from the marching band playing in the distance. Memories from Friday night high school football games came flooding back. My heart began to race and I felt that familiar rush.
It’s amazing how memories are triggered through the senses and how they can transport you to another time and place. Hearing a familiar sound, sight, smell, taste or a tactile sensation may remind you of a person, animal, place, object, or other resource.
However, memories are not always pleasant, like the ones I described. Memories and emotions may be intrusive and disturbing. Awareness of physical sensations in the body (heart racing, tensing of the muscles, tightness of the chest) may feel like you are reliving the traumatic or scary event. In fact, your brain (amygdala and hippocampus) interprets these sensations as threats to your survival. As your brain goes on high alert, your body automatically releases stress hormones (adrenalin and cortisol) and triggers your sympathetic nervous system for fight, flight, or freeze. It is important to be able to differentiate danger from the past from threats in the present. Otherwise, you may find yourself emotionally dysregulated in a social or family situation in which you would rather be responsive rather than reactive.
If you are a trauma survivor, you may experience sensations based on the past that are not relevant in the present. In situations like this, how do you remind yourself that it is 2022 and not 1972? One useful tactic is to bring yourself into the present moment. Bringing yourself into the present helps you feel more calm and relaxed. Being present helps us be more responsive rather than reactive.
My favorite strategy is to pause and focus on my breath. Unless we have a lung disorder, our breath is a tool that we often take for granted. For most of us, our breath is a tool that we already have inside of us. We do not have to buy or borrow it. Our breath is available 24/7. Taking a pause to focus on our breath can be for an instant or few seconds.
Let’s try it now:
Find a comfortable seated or standing position with both feet flat on the floor.
Lower your shoulders away from your ears
Bring your hands/arms to a comfortable place. If it helps, you can bring a hand to your belly and/or heart center.
Focus on your breath - notice your body breathing itself. If you notice your mind wonder - which it will - gently and nonjudgmentally, bring your awareness back to your breath. As many times as your mind wanders, bring your mind back to your breath.
Continue for one to two minutes.
Notice how you feel? Do you feel more calm and relaxed? Do you feel more connected to your body? To the world around you?
In order to use your breath when you need it, it’s important to practice breathing when you are in a good place. I recommend taking a pause (a step-back) once or twice a day, every day. When that stressful family or work event arises, your breathing practice will be second nature and you will show up as your best self.
If you have any questions or want to practice breathing with me, feel free to reach out! I look forward to hearing from you!